if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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