I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
