I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
