I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
