I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
