WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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