Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
