I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
