my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
