Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Barsexuality is the new black.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
