so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
