his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
