Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
