Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
