is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
