weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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