from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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