I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i have two assholes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
