have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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