dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
