You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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