it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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