I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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