Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
