Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
