i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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