That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
