i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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