My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
