Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
