Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
