she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
