im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
