I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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