Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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