I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
