oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
