look no pants
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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