I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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