Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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