yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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