Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
