I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
