He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
