everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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