everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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