Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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