The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
