plz talk dirty to me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
