I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
