I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
